Thursday, March 7, 2013

You Call It Venison. I Call It Bambi.

I am not a vegetarian.

I believe that animals were created for a purpose. For nourishment and food.

I love animals, but I don't judge people who hunt. (I might give them a hard time about it, however...).

I love chicken, I love pork, and I love beef.

But I will NOT, under any circumstances whatsoever, EVER eat a deer.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a picky eater and don't like trying new food. However, from what I've heard about venison, I honestly think I would like it. That is not why I will not try it.

I won't try it because, while most people just see really good meat, I see a poor, helpless doe who couldn't outrun the daunting speed of the piercing metal bullet. I see a little fawn watching with horror its mother stumble to the ground and breathe her last breath.

I see Bambi.

And I mean, come on. How can you eat everybody's favorite Disney character?

How can people eat this with a clear conscience?

Okay, fine. So Belle was my favorite. But still. Bambi was a big part of my childhood. And it has forever made me love forest animals. I am even slightly saddened when I see a dead skunk in the middle of the road.

Of course, I usually quickly forget about that, because the sight of a dead skunk tends to be quickly followed by the lovely skunk aroma in the air for the next mile and a half. And then if a whole family of skunks happens to have been killed at the same time but each one is separated by about 20 feet, you get to enjoy the scent all the way from your house to your school. That happened once.

And then, of course, it's always fun when a skunk sneaks in your school and then dies and you are basically bathing in the scent all day so that by the time school finally lets out no one even wants to be around you anymore. That happened once, too.

Anyway...back to cute animals...

I will also not eat rabbits. Partly because of Thumper, and partly because I have a rabbit and I think he's really cute, and I'm pretty sure it would freak him out if I ate one of his kind right in front of him. I know I would be freaked out if I caught little Nemo nibbling on a human... *shivers*

Other animals I will not eat include cats, dogs, horses, dolphins, and fish. Mostly because I think those are illegal to eat in the United States. Except for fish. I just don't like fish. They taste too ocean-y.

And then of course, I would never eat a rat, possum, or, well, a skunk. Because that's just gross.

I recently found out that in Canada, they eat moose...which I was a little surprised at, because I thought it would be illegal in Canada to eat moose. You know, because it's the national animal.

Then I found out that countries don't have national animals....

But I think that we should and I am hereby establishing deer, bunnies, dogs, cats, horses, and dolphins the national animals of the United States. So don't eat one. Because it's illegal now.

But please eat spiders. We need less of those in the world.