Sunday, August 25, 2013

You Alone Can Rescue.

I know I exaggerate a lot, and so what I'm about to say will probably not mean much to you, but it's for real this time, y'all.

I almost died today.

It was a normal Sunday morning. I got up, got ready for church, and was in my car by 9:30 to arrive 15 minutes early for the 10:00 elementary girls' class that I help with.

I turned to the country music station because they do a top 40 countdown on Sundays. I backed out of my driveway, pulled out of my neighborhood, and got on the ramp to I-35.

I drove up the ramp, rocking out to Two Black Cadillacs by Carrie Underwood, I turned the corner -- freeway in sight -- and I felt my car start to drift to the right.

That's weird, I thought. I was driving straight and I knew my alignment wasn't off, so I wasn't sure why my car was veering to the right. So I lightly turned the wheel to the left to compensate.

But it went too far to the left. Which didn't make sense, because I had barely turned the wheel. I turned the wheel to the right -- again, lightly -- because I was in the far left lane and was getting closer and closer to the side of the ramp (which, by the way, was about 20 feet above the ground).

My car went even farther this time, taking me from the left shoulder to the far right lane (it was a two-lane ramp). As I veered closer to the far right side of the ramp (again, about 20 feet off the ground), I decided I was about to die. But I wasn't going to give up just yet.

I made one last left turn of the wheel to get away from the edge of the ramp and then slammed on my brakes. My car momentarily spun out of control before coming to a complete stop right in the middle of the two lanes.

My heart was racing and I couldn't really breathe, but I needed to get out of the middle of everything, so I very, very carefully pulled into the shoulder, turned on my flashers, and called for help (because I was NOT about to try driving again).

 This was almost me.

Thankfully, my mom was just about to leave for church, so she was able to come pick me up. My dad came by a little later to look at my car and move it into a parking lot where it would be safer.

I was late to church but I don't think anyone really cared about that when I had just narrowly escaped death.

The crazy part is this: when I turned the corner on the ramp, just seconds before my car TRIED TO KILL ME, there were cars all around me. When my car suddenly lost control, all the cars that had been near me had gotten ahead of me, and no one was behind me. The area was completely empty until I had made it safely to the shoulder. Once I was in the shoulder, there was pretty much a steady flow of traffic. I was all over the road; had there been anyone there, I would have absolutely hit them.

Had I hit the side of the ramp, there's a good chance I would have gone over the edge at the speed I was going at. I was incredibly close to hitting both sides, but in both cases was able to swerve back to the other side.

As I was sitting in our church service later, we sang the song You Alone Can Rescue. These are the words:

"You alone can rescue, You alone can save
You alone can lift us from the grave
You came down to find us, led us out of death
To You alone belongs the highest praise."

I know that this song is technically talking about salvation and Jesus dying on the cross for us, but today I felt it had another meaning, because God literally rescued, saved, and led me out of death (or at least some severe injuries) this morning. And He definitely deserves the highest praise.

I wish I could credit my awesome driving/remaining-calm-in-a-crisis skills, but I can't. All glory goes to God on this one.

There is simply no other explanation.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Subway Adventures.

Today I had worship team training at church from 10am-4pm. And let me just say, the series of unfortunate events that happened at my lunch break had Kayla written all over it. In big capital letters. Underlined four times. With an exclamation point.

This is good, guys. Just you wait.

Unfortunate Event #1: The Elusive Subway.

We were on our own for lunch but a large group of people (my friends included) were going to Taco Cabana. Which I found really surprising because I didn't know people actually liked Taco Cabana. Like, seriously, if we're going to have tacos I'd much rather have Taco Bell. But then again, I'm probably not the most reliable judge of food.

Anyway, obviously I was not okay with Taco Cabana, but I did want to spend time with my friends, so I was going to get food elsewhere and then meet them there. I decided that I wanted Subway because a) Subway is kind of healthy, and I've been feeling guilty about all the junk I've been eating lately, and b) it sounded really good. So, I got in my car and set off for Subway. Only I couldn't remember exactly where it was, but I had a pretty good idea. So I headed that direction and figured I'd see it eventually.

So I'm driving. And I keep driving. And I keep driving. Because Subway is past all the other fast food restaurants. I know* that it's further up the road, so I just keep driving. And every once in awhile, I think I've passed it. So I start to turn around but then I see another group of buildings coming up and I convince myself that that's where Subway is. But it isn't. After doing this about three times, I began entering unrecognizable territory, so I decide to turn around for real this time.

*Me "knowing" where things are located is like a five year old "knowing" how to do calculus correctly

I'm driving back and looking for Subway. And I'm not finding it. And I'm like, "Are you kidding me? Was it seriously further up? Does Subway even exist anymore?" AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SEE IT. And I'm like, "SUBWAY! I see you! do I get to you...?"

It was like behind a bunch of restaurants and...I don't even know. Like, it was there, but it was hidden. So I maneuvered my way through the Walmart parking lot and down a couple back roads and finally I'm in the Subway parking lot -- the actual Subway parking lot! -- and I park and get out of my car.

Which brings me to...

Unfortunate Event #2: The Door with the Sandwich On It.

I walk into Subway, ECSTATIC because I'm really hungry, and the first thing I notice are SIX bulky guys, about high school age, probably football players, sitting together and staring at me (quite angrily I might add) in dead silence at Subway. Just sitting there. With no food. Not standing in line to order. And I was like, "Do these guys know how Subway works? You have to go stand in line..." But then I looked up and realized that there was no one at the register. There were employees in the back (who saw me walk in), but no one at the front. So I stepped to the side and joined the awkward silence while these big scary guys just...stared at me.

While I'm waiting, I can't help but notice that Subway is a lot smaller than I remembered it being. Did they remodel? Why would they remodel and make the place smaller? Or maybe it just looked smaller because of the new design. But the counter looked way too small to hold all the sandwich fixins. And why did it smell like pizza in there?

And then I look at the door, and right below the picture of something that very closely resembles a SANDWICH (and sandwich = Subway) are the words "Little Caesar's."

Sandwiches > Pizza.
Little Caesar's. Last time I checked, that was different than Subway. And I'm completely mortified at this point that I have walked into and stood in for several minutes the WRONG restaurant. I have been stared at by creepy high school boys that totally had the ability to kill me. I have been acknowledged (but not served) by some very busy Little Caesar's employees. And I could feel the eyes of all 6 scary boys and all 3 employees on me as I silently walked out and never returned.

And before I walked into Subway, I read every sign from top to bottom just to make sure.

Unfortunate Event #3: I Give Up.

Thankfully, I was able to get my 6" tuna sandwich on Italian without a hitch, and I made it to my car and out of the parking lot without incident.

By the way, at this point our one hour lunch break is more than half over.

Anyway, I'm driving to Taco Cabana to catch up with my friends (for, like, a whole 15 minutes), but I was so...flustered, I guess is the word...from everything that just happened that I passed Taco Cabana. And at first I was like, "I think I just passed it..." but then I was like, "oh, no, it's further up here." But it wasn't. And by the time I was 100% sure I had passed it, I was almost back to church.

There just wasn't any point in turning around.

I was probably just going to pass it again anyway.

So I pulled into church and found a table inside to eat at while I recovered from the previous 45 minutes' adventures.

So yes, ladies and gentlemen, in 45 minutes I managed to:
  • Get lost on a street I have traveled hundreds of times
  • Share some delightfully awkward moments with 9 strangers
  • Get so distracted that I just straight up passed my destination
  • Just give up, because seriously, why do I even try to be cool? 
By the way, those first three things happen so often that I had to give them their own tags.

And to my friends who may or may not have been waiting on me to show up at Taco Cabana (I'm not even sure they knew I was coming, but just in case): I DID NOT ditch you guys on purpose. I totally intended on showing up, and wanted to...but, like, seriously...I just needed a moment to myself. To recover. was a crazy 45 minutes, y'all. Real crazy. Kayla levels of crazy. And Lord knows it takes time to recover from Kayla crazy.

Kaylzy? Oh, I know! Crayla. Wait, no...that sounds like a crayon.

Whatever. It doesn't even deserve its own word. You know what they say: when you name things, you just get more attached.

Which doesn't really apply in this situation but that's okay. The point is...well, actually there isn't one. (Other than to make you feel better about yourself, of course).

Sorry to have wasted your time.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I Just Can't Catch a Break.

Y'all know how I love my TV shows. (If you don't, see my last post). Well, I'm currently kind of in between shows because I finished Veronica Mars (in ONE WEEK, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not sure if that's a talent or an illness, but it's impressive either way) and I am waiting to borrow the DVDs of my next show -- Downton Abbey -- from a friend.

I'm super excited about Downton Abbey. I've heard it's amazing. Hopefully I will be getting the DVDs on Friday. That should occupy me for a few days at least.

As I was saying, I'm in between shows. I'm kinda watching New Girl on Netflix, which is pretty funny but I haven't gotten hooked on it yet so I'm not spending every spare moment watching it. Plus I'm almost done because there's only one season on Netflix. Though I do have a free two weeks of Hulu Plus I've been saving. I'll have to look into that.

ANYWAY. I'm also watching regular TV. Like today I discovered we have the game show channel again. I love me some game shows.

I got tired of watching game shows (mainly because I can't play along with Minute to Win It), so I was flipping through channels and came across a show that I used to watch with my family ALL THE TIME but haven't in a few years -- So You Think You Can Dance. I know nothing about dancing but I enjoy watching it so I got excited and started watching.

For some unknown reason that cannot be explained by anything other than an act of God because it makes absolutely no sense, it has been raining all day. In Texas. In AUGUST. Rain in the summer is not a normal thing here.

But everything is bigger in Texas, so we don't just get "rain." No, we get the whole shebang. The whole lightninging, thundering, pouring, LOST-SATELLITE-SIGNALING shebang.

After the first dance the satellite decided I watch too much TV (true, but not for the TV to decide) and dropped its signal. And I sat on the couch in silence for the next ten minutes staring at a signal-less TV.

And THEN, something magical happened. It started searching for a signal. A box popped up that said "Searching for signal. This should not take more than 5 minutes."

And TEN (not five) minutes later, it came back! *happy dance*

For a whole five minutes, and then it changed the channel because TOO MANY THINGS WERE RECORDING.

 How I was feeling at this point. Minus the wheat field.

And I'm like, are you kidding me? All I wanted to do was watch a nice dance show and Dish Network was not cooperating.

So I canceled some recordings and fixed it so that I could watch my dance show, thank you very much. Because it was really important. Because, like...yeah. It just was.

And then I ate some snickerdoodle blondies to make up for the hard hour I had. Because I DESERVED IT, dang it.

OH MY GOSH. I just realized it's Tuesday. No wonder the whole world was against me today.*

*The whole world being the TV. Obviously.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

I Think I Need an Intervention.

So last night/this morning at approximately 1:48am, I deliriously posted this status on facebook:

Now I know that sometimes when I talk, I throw in the occasional hyperbole. This is not one of those times.

Tears actually happened. Freaking out actually happened. And the only reason I'm not ashamed to tell the world this is because it was 2am. Nobody should be expected to control their emotions between the hours of 1 and 5 am. 

But seriously. It was bad, y'all.

The show is SO GOOD. Like, SO GOOD. I got home at 9ish last night and had 5 episodes left in the season to watch. I knew it would be a late night if I wanted to finish, and honestly wasn't planning on it. "Just two or three..." I told myself. HA.

*Caution: Very vague spoilers ahead*

Every episode ended on a cliffhanger. Even worse, they ended on a cliffhanger involving my favorite like, I had to watch the next one to make sure that everything was going to work out okay for him.

Well guess what? In the season 1 finale...EVERYTHING DOESN'T WORK OKAY FOR HIM. We don't even see him for the last 15 minutes of the show and the last time we did see him, he looked like he was in mortal danger. So the season ends with the main character hearing a knock on the door and opening it and I'm like...


And I was SO CONCERNED ABOUT LOGAN that I started crying. Because I wanted to start the next season. But it was almost 2am. And I was really tired. And the fact that I was crying over a character in a TV show made me realize that I desperately needed sleep. Which made me cry harder, because I wanted to start the next season.

But ultimately, I decided to be strong and just go to bed. Once I fell asleep it would practically be morning anyway, so it's not like it would be very long before I could start the next episode.

Actually, it wasn't long at all, since at 7:30 this morning my brain was all like "Hey! It's morning!! Time to watch Veronica Mars!" and woke me up with NO regard to the fact that it's Saturday and I JUST went to bed 5 hours earlier. Thanks, Brain. You're a real pal.

But for real...I may or may not have a serious problem.

Oh, and I'm watching season 2 as we speak (well, waiting for it to load), and I am pleased to report that Logan is still alive. Which I knew anyway, because like, IMDB has him listed in all 64 episodes...and the movie that's coming out next year...but still. He could have been like, a ghost or something.