My New...Uh, Hobby?

Several months ago, it finally hit me that I am a senior. That virtually everything I do this year will be my last time ever doing it. And then, upon pondering this thought some more, I realized that this meant that once volleyball season ended, I would never play another sport again, or have any way at all of staying in shape.

Well, I decided that this was unacceptable. I must have some way to burn calories, or I will get fat. And I'm not changing the way I eat. I love sugar too much. No, I needed something that would simply balance out the effects of my bad eating habits.

I considered my different options. I wanted something that wouldn't cost me any money, and something that I could do on my own time and at my own pace. I came to the conclusion that running was my best option.

Seems like a very logical solution, right? Ha! You're forgetting one very, very important thing about me: 

I DON'T RUN.

More than that, I don't like running. In fact, I don't normally like exercising in general. I'm not athletic. I'm more of an arts person. The only reason I stuck with volleyball all these years was because I actually (most of the time) enjoyed it, and it was a way of working off all those chocolate milkshakes I eat (drink?).

Seriously, almost everyone (okay...everyone) who knows me was really shocked when I told them I was going to start running, and super impressed that I haven't given up yet.

Of course, if you're expecting me to give up, then you're forgetting another very important thing about me: 

I'M NOT A QUITTER.

So, I'm going to stick with it. Volleyball ended last week, and so far, I've run 4 days. The third day I ran my maximum: 2.5 miles. I discovered I can run a mile in about 10 minutes, which I never knew. I also discovered that I can run (at least) 25 minutes without stopping. Next time I think I'll go for 3 miles in 30 minutes. I'm seriously surprising myself. If you'd asked me two weeks ago, I would have thought I'd be dead WAY before I got to this point.

Oh, yeah. And the great thing about running is I can drink (eat?) chocolate milkshakes now totally guilt-free. I often reward myself with one after my runs.

It's Just Like Christmas.

I'm waiting.

I'm trying to be patient, but sometimes it's just really hard.

In fact, it's hard just about all the time.

Not just hard. Difficult.

It doesn't seem fair. I didn't do anything wrong. Why do I have to wait? This feels like punishment.

Sometimes, I want to give in. Stop waiting around. Move on with my life, and not have to constantly be dwelling on the pain caused by the lingering pace at which the thing I want comes to me.

But then I remember...it's worth waiting for.

I remember...God has a plan.

I remember...there's a reason I have to wait.

It must not be ready for me yet.

Who wants to eat a half-cooked meal? Who wants to live in a half-built house? All the same, who wants to open a gift that's only half-ready?

Not me.

I feel like the gift is perfect as it is. Yet it hasn't been given to me. I am not the giver; therefore, I cannot know when the gift is ready.

I hate waiting.

But I know there's a reason I must.

Trusting in You, Lord.

A Once Beating Heart.

 (This is a poem I wrote today. I'm not the best poet, but I wanted to share it anyway.)
 -----
There's a hole in my heart needs mending
It longs for a love unending
But a wound this deep is hard to heal
For it bears all the weight of its rending

The incomparable pain my heart feels
The sensation is so surreal
My heart carries the burden which
My outward disguise won't reveal

There's only one remedy for heartache like this
Only One with love deep enough for the stitch
His love is enough for my poor, broken heart
Lord, my heart is now yours to fix

He fills what was empty, a Master of art
He pieces together what was torn apart
When He is finished, the beat does impart
At last, I'm refreshed, ready for a new start

Tick Tock, On the Clock...

(Don't worry, this is not a post about Ke$ha. I just stole her lyrics.)

I LOVED my pastor's sermon today. It was everything I needed to hear.

The lesson today was on time management. "When you run out of time, you die," my pastor said. (On a side note, it made me think of that new movie coming out, In Time.)

Anyway, one of the points he made, and the one that stuck out to me the most, was that we have time--we just waste it early on. Then, when it comes time to get the really important things done, we have only a small amount of time left...and feel rushed and stressed.

Our problem isn't that we don't have enough time. We waste it. That's all there is to it.

I definitely have a problem with wasting time. I always feel like I don't have enough time to get things done. It's true, I really don't have a lot of free time....but it's also true that I don't exactly spend every spare second I have getting things done. I definitely waste time. I would guess I waste at least a couple hours in every day.

Can you imagine all the things you could get done if you were given all the time you've wasted in your life back? Let's see...we'll say I've wasted about 3 hours every day for the past 18 years. Obviously this is an inaccurate figure, but it's an estimated average, so bear with me.

People, that 19,710 hours I have wasted in my life. More if you take leap years into consideration, which I totally didn't because that math was too complicated for me. 19,710!! That's crazy! I could get SO MUCH DONE in that amount of time.

I could write a book...

I could make a movie...

I could spend a week in every country in the world...

I could build a time machine...
I could come up with the cure for cancer.

Okay, maybe not all that. But 19,710 hours is over 800 days. I could get a lot of things accomplished in 800 days.

800 days of my life...wasted. That's about 2 and a half years.

Wow. That's incredible.

This has definitely opened my eyes to how I spend my time, and from now on I am definitely going to try to get the important things done first, and then "waste" the leftover time. The sermon this morning was exactly what I needed, because my life has been CRAZY busy lately.

It's not that we don't have time...it's that we waste it early on. Those words have been ringing in my head all day. Truly a great reminder.

P.S. I hope I didn't hurt your head with all the math. Because I definitely hurt mine.