Actual Things 3rd Graders Said.

Over Thanksgiving, I was visiting family in Alabama which is why I have been absent from the blog. But more on that later.

Right now, I interrupt my usual posting to share with you some totally real, not at all exaggerated quotes from students in the third grade class I subbed for on Tuesday.

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Student 1: "Miss Holiday, how old are you?"
Me: "20."
Student 2: "It's rude to ask people how old they are."
Student 1: "That's only for old people!"

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Boy Student: "Miss Holiday, Girl Student wrote down on a piece of paper which boys like which girls and is showing it to everybody!"

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Girl Student: "Miss Holiday, Boy Student wrote "I will date Girl Student" on a piece of paper and I did NOT like that."

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Student 1: "I can date when I'm 16."
Student 2: "No you have to be 18 to date!"
Student 1: "My mom said I can date when I'm 16!"
Student 3: "Yeah, when you're in high school you can date as much as you want!"

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Boy Student 1: "Miss Holiday, Boy Student 2 wrote down on a piece of paper that he and I* were married and then he wrote that we were divorced."

*Please note, these are both BOY students....

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Everyone: "WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?! DE DEE DO DO DAH DO DE DAH!  WA PA PA WA PA PAPA POW! RING DING RING A DING A RING DING!"

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Third grade is the new junior high, y'all.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

A Realization.

I recently came across this quote from a man named Gordon B. Hinckley. While I do not condone everything that this man believed, I find a lot of truth in this statement:

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” 

I was thinking about this quote earlier, when it hit me: this is why I want to be a teacher.

It started out with me thinking about all the times I've been unhappy with my life versus all the times I have been content. It was completely true: those times when I was feeling discouraged, sad, or unloved were times when I was focusing only on my own life and my problems. The times when I have been most happy have been times when I have focused on pouring into other people's lives.

I realized that, at least for me, I don't need to have everything I want in order to be happy. If I put my energy into thinking of other people, helping them however I can, and being happy for them, I forget to set aside time for worrying about my problems. I realized that I can be fully content by simply making a difference in someone else's life.

And that is why I want to be a teacher.

 This will be me, only with brown hair and probably not as nice of a classroom.

I could never really explain why I wanted to teach. I would always say it's because I love little kids, but I always knew there was something more than that. Now I understand: I want to get to know these future students of mine. I want to help them learn. I want to show them that they can be successful. I want to make a difference in their lives.

Everyone remembers their teachers. In my opinion, a teacher is probably one of the most influential professions there is. I'd even argue that they are more influential than motivational speakers.

When I was in junior high and even parts of high school, I thought I hated people. I honestly don't know why I thought that, but clearly I did not know myself. Because the truth is, I love people.

I have a love for people (specifically, children) and I want to use that love to help, to mentor, and to inspire. I want to pour all my time and energy into the lives of children so that they may see that they can accomplish something great. I want to teach. Because I know that even when times get stressful and hard and I just want to quit, one child's success will be enough to keep me going.

It may not pay a lot, but what is money compared to the genuine happiness that comes from serving others?

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." Matthew 6:24

I don't need to worry about my problems because I know the Lord will take care of them. Happiness does not come from material possessions, but from the Lord and doing His work.

And that is why I want to be a teacher.

Inside the Devotional of a 7 Year Old.

So, today I found this old devotional from when I was probably about 7 years old. And the things that were written inside were too golden not to share. Please enjoy the following devotional questions, 7-year-old me's answers, and 19-year-old me's sarcastic commentary.

Why do you think God wants you to know His name? 
I think God wants us to know his name we can tell other people about Him instead of just saying "that guy that lives in Heaven."

{Good point, 7-year-old me.} 

Make an acrostic of your name using words across that tell about you.
K: Kind
A: Angelic
Y: Youthful
L: Ladylike
A: Awesome
R: Radiant
O: Obedient
S: Scentful
E: Enchanting

{Can you tell I was super girly?}

Draw a picture or take a snapshot of a family member's nose, ears, mouth, etc.
My mom's nose, lips, and chin:
 

{The resemblance is really quite shocking.}

Why did God create light?
To do stuff.

{Another great point.}

Why do you think God made the stars so far away?
So they don't set the world on fire.

{Yes, I'm very glad God thought that one through!}

What would you want God to show you if you could see anything?
Samantha (a girl I was playing against on the computer).

{Samantha must have been a pretty special opponent to have beat out Europe or "the future."}

Share a memory with God of a time you've sinned. Ask God to forgive you. If you were mean to a person, ask him or her to forgive you.
I've already done this.

{Well, then.}

Write down the things God saw you do today.
Today, God saw me play on the computer, eat 6 poptarts, play with the puppies, play hula girl, go to the church, Hobby Lobby, Hancock's, my cousin's house, request a song, watch TV, listen to the radio, get ready for bed and write in this book.

{SIX PopTarts?! In one day?! No one wonder Dad won't buy them anymore!}

Do you have quiet places at your home? Where? No!
Plan a time, with your parents' permission, when you can meet with God in one of these places. OK?
Sit in a quiet place and tell God you like to be alone with Him. Sure.

{Is it just me, or is this devotional getting a little bossy?}

How can you know God is real? Look in the Bible.
How do you look for God? In the Bible.
How can you show others God is real? Give them a Bible.

{Well, the Bible DOES have all the answers.}

And then the next 180 pages are blank, because though my answers to these questions have changed over time, my short attention span has remained the same (evident by all the books and devotionals and the like that have been sitting on a shelf or in a box waiting to be finished for years now). Maybe someday I'll get to finishing things...but today is not that day.

I'm Skipping School Today.

This is something I rarely do. Mainly because, I'm terrible at being sick. Meaning: I hate doctors, so I don't go to one. I hate medicine, so I don't take it. I hate skipping school, so I don't. I even went to one of my classes when I was almost literally on my death bed at home with the flu. True story. That was pointless, though. I was so out of it I might as well have been at home sleeping. Oh yeah! And I went to voice lessons every week when I had bronchitis (bronchitis typically lasts 4 weeks...but I got it again a week after it went away for a grand total of 8 weeks). And I did a recital. I sounded terrible, but I just don't do the whole staying-in-bed-resting-taking-medicine-doctors-orders thing.

Anyway, so I'm not at school right now because for the past two days my stomach has felt weird. We think I have some sort of virus. I'm feeling a little better today than I did yesterday or Saturday, but you never know with stomach viruses what could happen. And it might be contagious or whatever. Sooo here I am, missing school, kind of enjoying it but at the same time feeling guilty because I honestly don't feel that horrible right now, and bored out of my mind.

So, I thought I'd share something extremely funny that happened yesterday in my elementary school girls' class at church (no, I'm not in the class...I help teach it).

We were playing a review game where the girls were asked a question, and then 3 of the assistant teachers each gave a multiple choice question. The girls then conferred with their teams and chose the correct answer. (Some of the multiple choice answers were pretty obviously not correct).

Anyway, here's the funny part. I'm person B.

Teacher: Okay, the next question is...who was the Bible inspired by?
Person A: I think the Bible was inspired by Jesus, because the whole Bible is about him!
Person B: Well, I think the Bible is inspired by Pastor Harold*, because he just has so much wisdom!
Person C: I think it was inspired by President Obama, you know, because he's the president and everything!

...wait for it...

Little girl: But he's not wise at all!!

*The pastor of my church
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Disclaimer: I share this story simply because it was funny to hear coming from a 2nd grader's mouth. I am in no way looking for a political discussion on this topic and any comments reflecting political views will be deleted. So please, enjoy the story and keep any political opinions to yourself. (I probably won't have a problem with this, but better safe than sorry. :-) ) Thank you!

Worst. Babysitting Experience. EVER.

Okay, so normally I try to just post happy/funny/random/profound things on this blog. BUT last night was sooo frustrating, that I feel the need to tell everyone exactly what happened. And actually, there's a good chance it will turn out to be a funny story because it has to do with none other than more Kayla-deficient technology....

So, last night I was babysitting, as I often do. I mean seriously. I babysit a lot. Well, sometimes. It kind of comes in spurts. Like, there will be several weeks in a row where I babysit 2-3 times a week, and then there will be several weeks where I don't babysit at all.

Anyway, on to the story. I was babysitting a little 3-year-old girl that I probably babysit more than any other child. I usually don't have any problems with her. She did go through this one phase of, like, separation anxiety or something when she would randomly start crying because she missed her parents. But me, being the super-sitter that I am, figured out the cure for that: singing Old McDonald Had A Farm, over and over and over....

That phase didn't last long though. It was over almost as quickly as it started. But last night...I don't know WHAT happened...but she randomly started crying about 2 hours in.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"I don't know," she would reply. And then promptly stop crying.

"Do you want to play with your computer?" I suggested. She has a click-start Leap Frog computer or something. She was happy with that suggestion so we started it up, and I went to go make myself some toast because I had forgotten to eat dinner before I came. While I'm making toast, she walks in and says, "I'm tired!"

I look at the clock. It's 7. Her bed time is 9. I don't feel authorized to put her to bed THAT early, so I suggest she keep playing with her computer. She sits down but does nothing with it. She says she doesn't want to play it anymore. So I suggest watching a movie.

She likes this idea! Yay! A happy camper. So we pick out a VHS (or an old school video, in case you read that and went "what?") and I go put it in the VCR. As a side note, I have ALWAYS been able to work their TV in the past. But now, it's not working.

After trying various things to get it to work, I switch to a DVD. Well, guess what? The DVD player won't open. I try for a few minutes, then decide to try a different VHS. Still doesn't work. Try the DVD player again. Nope. The little girl starts crying. Fantastic.

Wait! I have a brilliantly ingenious idea! You can watch DVDs on laptops. They have a laptop. I have a DVD. Fantastic! I locate the laptops (there's two). This is so going to work and the kid will be happy and I can eat my toast that is still sitting on the kitchen counter.

Well...for some unknown reason that makes absolutely NO sense to me, the laptops wouldn't play the DVD. Neither of them. I tried both. TWICE. They wouldn't play it. I tried EVERYTHING. I opened 3 different programs on the laptops that should be able to play DVDs and I couldn't get anything to work.

At this point, the girl is FLIPPING out because she wants to watch Blue's Clues, which halfway through switched to Veggie Tales just making my life more difficult, and I'm frustrated and about to throw these laptops against the wall along with the VCR and the DVD player. But I refrain, because these items do not belong to me.

So, like I said, she's freaking out which stresses me out even more and I'm trying so hard not to yell at the poor child. I keep asking her why she's crying and all I get is "I don't know!"

I'm not even kidding, I was about to start crying. Seemed like the easiest solution at this point.

And normally, this would be the part where I tell you how I saved the day and fixed the laptop, we watched Veggie Tales and everyone lived happily ever after. But alas, that is not what happened. Instead, I gave up. Yep. I put the laptops away and the movies away and I said, "Okay, we're not watching a movie."

She wasn't happy.

Now this is the part where I save the day. She wanted to watch Veggie Tales so much, but we couldn't. So this is where my second brilliantly ingenious idea of the night comes in. I remember they have a Veggie Tales CD. Sooo I find it with my awesome scavenger hunt skills, pop it in the CD player (which is apparently the only technological item that is not part of the technology conspiracy against me), and she remains happy until bedtime.

Win.

So now it's an hour later, I've acquired a headache, and I still haven't eaten my toast. But at least the little girl was happy and there was no more crying--from either of us--the rest of the night.

I hope that ending was happy enough for you, because that's all I've got.

May all your babysitting adventures go much smoother than mine did last night.

The Most Amusing Things On the Planet:

Little kids.

Or, more specifically, little boys.

Little girls are hilarious, too. But there's just something about boys that makes everything more hysterical. Maybe I think that simply because I'm a girl. But check out this conversation between two little boys I was babysitting the other day, one three and one five.

(Note: I missed what started this conversation. We were eating popcorn and I wasn't 100% sure what exactly was going on. But, it doesn't really matter. The conversation is still extremely entertaining.) 

3-year-old: Are you tricking me? 

5-year-old: Maybe. 

3-year-old: If you ever do that again, I'm going to pull my sharp knife out of my pocket! 

5-year-old: I'm going to pull out my sharp sword and cut off your head! And I'm going to put poison in your popcorn and then throw it in your mouth!

(pause) 

3-year-old: I already have poison in my mouth. 

5-year-old: Then you're gonna die!

Did I mention they were laughing the whole time? I mean, it was seriously the cutest/most hilarious/slightly shocking thing I've ever seen in my life. Is it not?

Babysitters live for these moments. This is why we do what we do. It makes every moment worth it.