Thursday, October 25, 2012

And Then the Clouds Came Out.

My day was...stressful, mostly. Let me start at 7:00 this morning.

I had a speech today in speech class. A speech I was freaking out about. Especially since I had a dream the other night that I was COMPLETELY unprepared for it.

We had a lot of stuff to bring for it: an outline, a reference page, a visual aid, and a memory card so she could record us. I double checked last night to make sure I had everything I needed. And I checked again this morning.

Anyway, I got up early because I had to make sure I looked okay and everything, you know, cuz the whole class would be staring at me. My car was also out of gas, so I needed to stop at a gas station so that my car didn't break down or anything on my way to school.

So I leave earlier than normal to get gas and get there in plenty of time to prepare for my speech. It's 7:15 and I'm probably about 10 minutes away from my house when I remember a dream I had last night.

In my dream, it was speech day, and I didn't have my memory card. Thankfully, in my dream, the teacher had extra cards so it wasn't a big deal. But that got me thinking...did I pack my card? I didn't double check this morning to make sure I had it...did I pack it last night? I couldn't remember. So as I'm driving I have one hand in my bag digging around for it. And I can't find it. So I take the next exit, pull into a gas station, and do a thorough search of my bag. Nothing.

So now I'm starting to panic. I'm going to have to go home and get it. But what if it's not there? Then I would have just wasted about 20 minutes. So I decide to call my mom to have her check and see if it's still sitting on my desk. I call her twice, and there's no answer. So I start driving back. I decide to call my dad, even though I know he's at the airport dropping off my grandpa, just in case he's back already. But he's not. So, it's about 7:25 now and I run inside (leaving my car on because I don't have time to turn it off, and praying that no one steals it). Thankfully, it's still on my desk so I grab it and run. I'm in and out in about 30 seconds. Record time.

Anyway, I made it to school barely on time. I walked in right at 8, as opposed to about 7:30 when I would have gotten there had this little setback not happened. As you can imagine, I was a little frazzled the rest of the morning. And imagining everything that could go wrong. And feeling like I was going to throw up on the person in front of me (except no one sits in front of me, so I guess that's a plus).

But I think my speech went pretty well. Everything worked and I didn't forget anything and I stayed (barely) within the time limits. So, now I just have to wait for my evaluation.

By the way, I think the dream I had, and the fact that I remembered it before I was too far from home, was totally a God thing. Because He's awesome like that.

The next stressful thing that happened was one of my professors scheduled a test on a day that I'm not going to be in now I have to talk to him and see if I can take it another time and then figure out a time I can take it which is going to be difficult because I have approximately 15 minutes of free time between the hours of 8 and 4 on weekdays. And I doubt he'll let me take the test at home.

And THEN to top it all off, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered my usual cheeseburger, plain and dry. PLAIN AND DRY. I go to eat my burger after I leave and it has ketchup, pickles, mustard, and onions on it. Not the definition of plain and dry.

So I had to wait until I got to work to eat it so I could scrape off all the gross stuff because it's hard to do that in the car. But by then, it was getting cold and the cheese was gross and the ketchup and mustard had absorbed into the bread. So, being the clever person that I am, I cut off the parts of the bread that I couldn't eat. And it still tasted terrible, and I almost threw up once (that's twice today, folks), but at least I wasn't hungry.

And then, as if it knew exactly how my day was going,  the sun disappeared and a billion clouds came out of nowhere and made the sky all gray and dark. I even took off my sunglasses. Y'all, I once wore my sunglasses while watching fireworks because they were too bright for my sensitive eyes. This is a big deal.

I kept thinking today was Tuesday, because normally these things happen to me on Tuesdays. (Tuesdays hate me, if you haven't heard). But thankfully, it is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday (Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday...haha. Now it's in your head.) and then it's the WEEKEND. My favorite word. (After euphemism, of course).

On the bright side, I was totally having a great hair day. It was all soft and everything.

Monday, October 15, 2012

So Sentimental.

Okay, I have a confession to make.

I......I miss high school.

There. I said it. The thing that I was so glad was over. I want it back.

Here's why: I don't like change.

I despise change. And college? College is change to the max. I don't like it. I want to go back.

I miss my little high school routine. School on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Work on Tuesday and Thursday. Church on Wednesday night and Sunday. Kandu meetings every other week. Football games. Basketball games. Volleyball games. Plays. National honor society meetings. Knowing everyone in my entire school, and being best friends with everyone in my class.

I have not met anyone at UTA. Okay, I've met a couple people. But no new friends. Just acquaintances.

All I do is work and school. Work and school, school and work. Then I do some more school, go to bed, and start all over the next day. The highlight of my week is growth group on Tuesday nights. And church, of course.

So I've been feeling really sentimental lately. Looking back three years on my facebook profile, going through old pictures and videos, and really just wishing I had all that back...

And then the other day it hit me: just about when I'm going to be getting used to college life (next year), I'll be GRADUATING college, and then I once again have to dive into the deep abyss of the unknown.

I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

I guess I just feel like a huge part of me is missing. You know, I was in high school for four years. I was super involved in my school and in my youth group, and now that's all been taken away from me. I hate being uninvolved...but I'm not going to be at UTA long enough to really get involved there. And we don't have a college group at church. So like...I'm just like a nobody right now.

Okay, I'm not really a nobody. I'm still involved in church, just not to the extent that I was in my youth group. I was a leader there, and now I'm back at the bottom of the totem pole.

I don't know how to explain why I'm struggling with this so much. I'm not type A, I don't like being in the middle of the things, I don't even really like leading. I guess it's just a big adjustment to make and, well, let's just say adaptability is not one of my top strengths. :)

Anyway, please join me in my sentimentality by looking at these pictures. (Disclaimer: There are A LOT. We're talking 4 years' worth.)

Decorating the tree. December 2008.

National History Day competition. February 2009.

Spring Retreat. March 2009.

 Missions garage sale. April 2009.

 Spring play. May 2009. (Yes I played an old lady.)
Thailand Mission Trip. June/July 2009.
 Spirit Week. October 2009.

 Volleyball. October 2009.

  Life Impact. January 2010.

Pine Cove. February 2010.

Spring Play. May 2010.
 Freshman Kidnap. June 2010.

California Mission Trip. July 2010.
Volleyball. October 2010. 

 Canada Mission Trip. June/July 2011. (As you can see, my junior year is poorly documented).

Women's Retreat. November 2011.

National Honor Society. December 2011.
HSM Band. Some point in 2011//2012.

Senior Progressive Dinner. February 2012.
 Prom. April 2012.

Spring Play. May 2012.
Speaking at church. May 2011.
 Senior Class. I miss these guys. May 2012.

Graduation. May 2012.

 Senior Trip. June 2012.

HEART. June 2012.

I would love to relive any one of these moments right now. You don't know what you've got until it's gone -- never have truer words been spoken.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My Immune System is Cruel.

I know it's only been a couple months since the last time I was sick, but I forgot how much I hate it.

The sleepless nights. The not being able to breathe. The constant dilemma of "Am I hot...or am I cold?"

It ain't fun, y'all.

I've worked at my job for a little over two years now, and never once have I called in sick or left early. And I've probably been sick like 50 times since I started working there.

I just...I have this thing. I don't like to miss things just because of a stupid virus or whatever. Life's not gonna pause just because I have a little cold. Which means I'm going to miss out...I'm going to get behind in my classes and in work and everywhere. So, you know, when I'm sick, I go about life as normal. I go to school, I go to work, I go to church, etc.

But today was different. So many people at work are sick right now and everyone was practically yelling (nicely, of course) at me to go home so that I don't get the rest of them home. I was kinda brushing it off until about an hour in I started feeling really, really bad. I think I may have had a fever.

Anyway, I left. I left. This is unheard of from me, and my perfect-attendance-while-sick record has officially been shattered.

But in all seriousness guys, I feel miserable. Normally I don't describe it that way, but normally when I have a cold, I don't feel this bad. The only other time of felt this bad was two sicknesses ago, back in March.

Man, I always get sick at the worst times.

In March, I got sick right before a play at school. I had a fever and everything. I skipped school that day but I still had to do the play. My fever conveniently broke right after the play ended.

Then, the last time I was sick was at HEART. During the third week, when we were all ready for the thing to be over and go home and sleep in our own beds and just be by ourselves for a couple hours. So like, I had already crashed and burned from the previous two weeks, and then my body was all "Hey! Let's kick her while she's down!" and gave me a cold as well.

And now? I have a test tomorrow. I'm babysitting Friday and Saturday. And I'm singing in church on Sunday. Now, I will probably (hopefully) be better by Sunday, but band rehearsal is tomorrow night. singing voice right now sounds somewhere in between an old bass-toned man and a screeching, tone-deaf cat who has just been mauled by a bear. Not a pleasant sound.

So hopefully that little situation will have resolved itself by Sunday, because tomorrow's not quite as important....but yeah. This was not a good week to get sick.

So yeah...ugh.

I feel bad.

I'm gonna go sleep or take a hot bath or...something that will make me feel better that doesn't involve doctors or drugs. Because I'm against those.

[Update: I published this and then found a million typos for which I blame my sick brain. They have been left here for your entertainment. In case you were wondering.]

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Things Are Changing!

I know I'm a day late, but it's October! :D

Even though personally I think September is better, October's pretty cool too. We are already experiencing some cooler weather here in Texas! (Which means 70s and 80s for those of you who already have snow).

In other news...

Les Miserables was fantastic! It's technically the only musical I've ever seen live (I've seen the movies of Chicago and Phantom of the Opera), but I think it's the best! Okay, wait...I saw a high school version of Oklahoma...but I was referring to the professional ones at like...the Bass Hall...or Broadway...haha.

Anyway, we went to the Cheesecake Factory afterward for dinner and, well, cheesecake. Pictures anyone?

 We were waaaay up high.

 Yay! Les Miserables!

Lemon Raspberry Cream Cheesecake. They decorated the plate for my birthday. :D

My mom's giant chocolate cake. My dad's face wins.

These may or may not be blood relatives of mine. I'll let you decide.

Guess what guys? I get to cross off #9 on my bucket list! Which technically says see Les Mis on "Broadway"...but what I really meant is a professional performance that does not include Anne Hathaway (who is playing Fantine in the upcoming movie, and I'm not sure she can pull it off).

I have also recently accomplished #37 and #41. Though the cinnamon rolls didn't turn out very well. Those were made at HEART, and it was my first time using yeast...I did it wrong, and the dough didn't rise. They still tasted good, there just weren't as many and they were kinda more like cookies, haha. BUT IT COUNTS. I don't care what you say. I'm gonna try again someday anyway, so what does it matter if I cross it off now?

Check out my list if you haven't yet and let me know if you can help me out with any of them! Ex: Your father owns an airport and your mother owns a hotel chain and you can get me free transportation, room, and board for that trip to Europe/visit to every continent. Or you know, your uncle is Steven Spielberg and he happens to be directing a new movie with Alex Pettyfer and Taylor Lautner and just so happens to need a 19-year-old girl about my size to be an extra...

It could happen.

And if it does...TELL ME. Pleaseandthankyou.

Happy October!