Tuesday, July 24, 2012

This is Not the Post You've Been Waiting For.

This is not a post about the training I went to last month.

I actually have that one written, but have not posted it yet because I was trying to obtain a video and have not yet been successful in that venture.

But honestly, a big part of that is because it hasn't been on my mind the past several days. I will preface with an analogy that I made up all by myself (please hold the applause):

For the past, oh...yearish, I've been on a crazy roller coaster. A crazy roller coaster with sky-scraping highs and rock bottom lows. I was on the highest peak of that roller coaster when the car came off the track, and fell to the lowest low that there ever was. And let me tell y'all, I hit the bottom HARD.

It was like the car, everyone in the car, and the entire structure of this year-long roller coaster came crashing down on top of me. 

Y'all. I just came out of what was probably the hardest weekend of my life.

The hardest thing I've ever gone through.

And it's going to take awhile to recover.

I'm doing better. And I will continue to do better. And eventually it'll be like nothing was ever wrong. Time heals all wounds, but this wound's gonna need a lot of time.

I don't know what God has in store for me now. I thought I did but now I'm back to square one and I know nothing. And that's hard, because I like to know things.

I don't like surprises. I don't like change. This happens to be a surprise AND a change. Oh yay.

But regardless, I'm going to press on. I'm going to keep on living my life. No matter what happens, I'm going to keep trusting God. That He has a plan. That His plan is better than my plan.

Clearly, because God just basically took the schematics for my roller coaster and threw them in the trash. He showed me why my roller coaster would never work, and He had to tear it down so we could build a new one. A better one. Together.

These verses have kept me going the past couple days. If you're going through anything difficult right now--or even if you're not--I would encourage you to read them. They're good reminders for us all.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12-13

I put these verses up on my desk at work to keep me going. Cuz honestly, guys, work is hard right now. I can't focus because I have so much on my mind. I don't want to be there. But I'm trying. I'm really trying.

I long for normalcy. I long for simplicity. But my life isn't normal or simple. There's a good chance it will never be. But Jesus's life wasn't normal or simple either. I mean, His life was WAY less normal than mine...he was immortal for crying out loud. If that doesn't scream complicated I don't know what does.

He was crucified.

And then He came back to life.

Y'all. It doesn't get weirder than that.

Of course, that was Jesus and He can handle WAY more than a helpless human like myself can. But, I'm also dealing with way less than Him, AND I have Him to help me.

There's no reason I can't do this. None at all.

That's not to say I couldn't use prayer. If you think about it, include me. Include my family and my friends, too. And if you have anything you need prayer for right now, please let me know so I can return the favor.

At the beginning of the year, my best friend and I made a deal to make this year better than last year. Last year is gonna be really hard to top...but I'm still gonna try, despite all this. 

I will have the summer training post up at some point. I'm not going to say when because I know it will probably happen sooner if I don't. :)

Oh, and as a random post script, one of the keys just fell off my keyboard. Awesome. I need a new laptop.

1 comment:

  1. This is probably my favorite post you've ever done, awesome! And you're on my prayer list! :)


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