I......I miss high school.
There. I said it. The thing that I was so glad was over. I want it back.
Here's why: I don't like change.
I despise change. And college? College is change to the max. I don't like it. I want to go back.
I miss my little high school routine. School on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Work on Tuesday and Thursday. Church on Wednesday night and Sunday. Kandu meetings every other week. Football games. Basketball games. Volleyball games. Plays. National honor society meetings. Knowing everyone in my entire school, and being best friends with everyone in my class.
I have not met anyone at UTA. Okay, I've met a couple people. But no new friends. Just acquaintances.
All I do is work and school. Work and school, school and work. Then I do some more school, go to bed, and start all over the next day. The highlight of my week is growth group on Tuesday nights. And church, of course.
So I've been feeling really sentimental lately. Looking back three years on my facebook profile, going through old pictures and videos, and really just wishing I had all that back...
And then the other day it hit me: just about when I'm going to be getting used to college life (next year), I'll be GRADUATING college, and then I once again have to dive into the deep abyss of the unknown.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
I guess I just feel like a huge part of me is missing. You know, I was in high school for four years. I was super involved in my school and in my youth group, and now that's all been taken away from me. I hate being uninvolved...but I'm not going to be at UTA long enough to really get involved there. And we don't have a college group at church. So like...I'm just like a nobody right now.
Okay, I'm not really a nobody. I'm still involved in church, just not to the extent that I was in my youth group. I was a leader there, and now I'm back at the bottom of the totem pole.
I don't know how to explain why I'm struggling with this so much. I'm not type A, I don't like being in the middle of the things, I don't even really like leading. I guess it's just a big adjustment to make and, well, let's just say adaptability is not one of my top strengths. :)
Anyway, please join me in my sentimentality by looking at these pictures. (Disclaimer: There are A LOT. We're talking 4 years' worth.)
Decorating the tree. December 2008.
National History Day competition. February 2009.
Spring Retreat. March 2009.
Missions garage sale. April 2009.
Spring play. May 2009. (Yes I played an old lady.)
Thailand Mission Trip. June/July 2009.
Spirit Week. October 2009.
Volleyball. October 2009.
Life Impact. January 2010.
Pine Cove. February 2010.
Spring Play. May 2010.
Freshman Kidnap. June 2010.
California Mission Trip. July 2010.
Canada Mission Trip. June/July 2011. (As you can see, my junior year is poorly documented).
Women's Retreat. November 2011.
National Honor Society. December 2011.
HSM Band. Some point in 2011//2012.
Senior Progressive Dinner. February 2012.
Prom. April 2012.
Spring Play. May 2012.
Speaking at church. May 2011.
Senior Class. I miss these guys. May 2012.
Graduation. May 2012.
Senior Trip. June 2012.
HEART. June 2012.
I would love to relive any one of these moments right now. You don't know what you've got until it's gone -- never have truer words been spoken.