The Spider.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am deathly afraid of spiders. I'm not exaggerating.

One time I found a tiny (like, the size of a sugar ant) spider crawling on me. I screamed. Loudly. For a whole minute. While flailing around like an idiot trying to get it off me. But all that did was make the spider fall down my shirt to where I could no longer see it. Defeated, I sat down and cried for the next five minutes.

It was a truly traumatic experience and I am scarred for life by it.

Spider - 1, Kayla - 0.

Last week, I had just finished locking our dogs up in their crates in the garage for the night, when I heard one of them crying. I ignored it at first, but the crying persisted and my mom had me go check on them to see what was wrong.

As soon as I opened the garage door, of course the crying stopped. Unable to figure out what was wrong, I went back inside and began to get ready for bed. The crying started again.

This time I went and actually let them back outside for a few minutes in case someone just needed to go to the bathroom or run around or something. After a couple of minutes, I locked them back up and went back inside.

About five minutes later, the crying began again. My mom told me just to let them out and leave them out. So I went into the garage, let them out of their crates, and then followed them to the garage door to let them into the backyard.

As we were walking to the door, I saw a big black spot on one of my dogs. At first I thought it was just dirt, but then I noticed it was moving. I looked again and sure enough -- a GIANT spider (probably the size of a quarter, which qualifies as giant as far as spiders are concerned) was hitching a ride on my dog.

My dog who was now standing in between me and the door to the backyard. Which meant that a giant spider was standing between me and the door to the backyard.

I froze. I began to panic. I screamed. And then I turned around and ran inside, slamming the door behind me.

"THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON BUCK!" I screamed at my mom. "HE'S STANDING IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. I WOULD HAVE TO GO NEAR THE SPIDER. I CAN'T LET THEM OUT."

My mom convinced me that the spider was probably not on him anymore and to try again. I cracked open the door to see my very confused dogs wondering why I left them loose in the garage. I looked at Buck. I saw the spider. And it had doubled in size (now the size of a half-dollar coin). I screamed. I slammed the door. I went into hysterics yelling things like "I CAN'T DO IT" and "WHAT IF IT EATS ME?"

I almost made my mom who had just had shoulder surgery and was already settled into her recliner for the night get up and put them away, but she convinced me to try once more.

I opened the door. I looked at my still very confused dogs. I examined Buck closely. I didn't see anything. I took a step out. It still looked good. Maybe the spider was no longer on him.

But wait.

If the spider was no longer on Buck...then OH MY GOSH THE SPIDER WAS IN THE GARAGE SOMEWHERE WAITING TO EAT ME.

Enter adrenaline rush. Unsure of where the spider was lurking, I ran to the side door, yelling at Buck the whole time to STAY AWAY FROM ME. I opened the door, they ran out, and I slammed the door shut behind me as I ran screaming back inside.

Spider - 2, Kayla - 0.

I came back inside to find my mom literally dying from laughing at me. I was less amused.

"The spider wasn't on Buck anymore and now I'm afraid it's hiding somewhere on me," I said, offended that my mom was laughing at me when my life was at stake.

Suddenly, she stopped laughing and looked at me. She had this really serious, concerned look on her face. And then she gasped.

And that was all it took.

I screamed bloody murder and jumped a couple feet into the air, flailing my arms around for about two seconds. And then, as my mom once more burst into laughter, I realized what a cruel trick she had just played on me.

Spider - 2, Mom - 1, Kayla - 0.

But don't worry. One day, when it is proven that spiders are in fact little tiny demons that steal your soul and then kill you, I will have the last laugh, and my score will finally be Kayla - 1.

P.S. I was going to add a picture of a spider for effect, but I couldn't do it. The pictures on Google were horrifying and I couldn't look long enough to decide on one.